All riiiiight, car accidents and heart breaks! WOOOOOOO!!!!

Yeah thats why I've done fuck all over these last few months. My poor, white ass was involved with a nasty car accident that left my Miata totaled, both my legs broken, and two of my ribs cracked. In all honesty, I don't even know how the hell I'm alive today... I t-boned a Ford F150... Not my fault, he pulled out in front of me. So anyway with the insides of my Miata now resting in my lap and my legs crushed under a few hundred square feet of twisted metal, I honestly thought I was screwed...

...And then I woke up in the hospital. This was really fucking stressful on my relationship with the missus... I want to be a good guy for her, but I can't really do much when I can't walk. Well I'm three blocks of text in and I haven't written what I've been up to.

...Writing a novel, actually! I've started to write a story about America losing World War 3 and resembling mid-Final Solution Poland, what with all the concentration camps and whatnot. I've also taken up a mighty fine interest in EVE Online. Fuck that game is good. Voice acting for the most part will probably be severely limited as breathing in itself is a chore.

Also, who's that pimp emerging victorious from his doctor's office?

Well, not a pimp, but... You know.

Even though 99% of NG's population hasn't heard of me, that little niche that knows any remote thing about me might have noticed I've been inactive for a while. I've lost interest in flash completely and I'm now devoting my time to voice acting.

I've got 3 little projects in the works. A re-enactment of the No Russian shooting from Modern Warfare 2, a black box recorder from a crashed AC130 gunship, and some comedy skit I feel like doing.

Also, if you are reading this and require a voice actor, feel free to hit me up.

The AC130 project is coming along smoothly. I've recorded the FCO, TV Operator, and the damage controlman so far. Tomorrow I'll be doing Overlord, Captain MacTavish and Ghost.

The title of my piece of voice acting for the VA Competition. A parody of Call of Duty 4's subplot to find terrorist Khaled al-Asad, and a play on Obama's health care and budget cut plans.

Just went on the DD forums. The US Department of Criminal Justice apparently heard me and many people out and did something about it. The members of the forum are being investigated. I think it's safe to say this group of pain in the asses won't be of much trouble anymore.

There are two types of flash games I dislike. Games that are poorly designed, and games that test my patience in a number of dick ways. OCD falls into the latter category. However, it's the positive kind of mental stability testing. OCD is disguised as an innocent quiz show split up into five minigames. It also distributes medals upon completing these games. But are these simple easy games? No, OCD makes you fucking WORK for your medals. There's the game in which you hold down the K key for one hour. There's the game that makes you click a button ten thousand times. There's the game that forces you to wait 14 hours. There's the game that wants you to type along to a fast typewriter. And finally, the game that forces you to type in a number sequence every 204 minutes for 3 days. And you'd be surprised on the amount of frustration even this can instill in any man. I clicked the button 300 times before saying fuck it, and quit. Luka, the creator, is a demented psychopath who's very piss is pure hatred and omnipotence. And OCD+ is a frustrating, twisted and difficult set of minigames that in the end make you want to bash your head into the nearest inanimate object.

...But, you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love OCD. So, it gets a 4/5.

If you'd like to test your mental health, click on this link to go experience OCD.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
499695

Crebbz, of Duck Division infamy, just sent me 4 spam PMs containing nothing but gibberish. Normally I wouldn't replace an entire news bulletin with something like this, but this is completely bat shit bonkers, that a man, or boy, or whatever the hell kind of species he is, would actually take time out of his busy spamming schedule to send me 4 messages saying nothing but "asfsgsfg". I typed in random keys into the quote marks, because that's exactly what Crebbz did.

He'll probably send me more. I wouldn't doubt it. Now I'm gonna get back to something important, which is enjoying System Shock 2.

Twilight in Sixty Seconds is coming along decently. I'm still sticking to my process of "Working on it for a few minutes to a half hour a day" formula, but I'm going to do something a bit differently. I'm going to come up with jokes and shit on the fly instead of preparing the script (Like with what I did with the Maximum Awesome trailer... Which is probably on indefinite hiatus. There's no demand for it. Not much purpose in working on something no one will like.) and I'm gonna spend a little more time on the back grounds. A little more detail should suffice on something I absolutely despise. I may even unfold this into a "...in Sixty Seconds Series" if it does well.

So I'm gonna finish animating it today, record the voice work, sleep, and do some marathon sessions of my recently acquired System Shock 2.

So, to commemorate this historic announcement, I'm gonna make fun of it. With a 60 second long flash parodying it.

Darth Vader even has his wise wisdom on Twilight.

So I've done some voice work with Pure-Metal-UTA on some of his music. I'm also a part of the bad pick up lines collab, and the Alice in Chains quiz, which has been plagued by the lazy virus, is nearing completion. Uzi47 is putting in a scoring system, and touching it up. He's cool like that. My 1024MB stick of RAM will be in my computer in about a week. Newegg is a great place to shop for tech.

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen /256339

Here's Pure-Metal's song. I play the children in the beginning, and near the end.

And now, my desktop. Just 'cause.

No, seriously, I have to piss like a race horse. But aside from that, I haven't worked on Flash at all recently. I'm contemplating dropping Flash and doing primarily voice acting. But apart from that, the scores on my Metallica Quiz and the Crysis: Maximum Awesome flashes are up, a heavy pane of glass fell on my foot, and I still have to piss. In fact, why am I still at my computer?

I gotta fuckin' pee!